a couple on a beach with the caption ready to leave? why doing this first could change everything

Ready to Leave? Why Doing This First Could Change Everything

July 31, 20253 min read

“Wherever you go, there you are.” — Jon Kabat-Zinn

Even if you’ve got one foot out the door, read this first.

You’re here because something doesn’t feel right anymore.

Maybe you’re googling things like:


👉 “Should I leave my marriage?”
👉 “What to do when the love is gone”
👉 “Is emotional disconnection a sign it’s over?”
👉 “I feel like roommates, not lovers”
👉 “I love him but I’m not in love anymore”

If so, I see you.


And I know how heavy this space can feel.

You might be one conversation away from walking out…

Or maybe you've already mentally packed your bags and are just waiting for the right moment.

But here’s what I want you to know:

Even if you're certain you're done…
Even if you believe the love is gone forever…
Even if your heart aches for something more...

There is still work worth doing.


And it’s not about fixing him.
It’s not even about saving the relationship.


It’s about clearing what’s yours, so whatever happens next is clean.

What if love isn’t gone — just buried?

Sometimes what looks like the end is actually a beginning.


Sometimes love doesn’t disappear… it just gets drowned in resentment, routine, or unmet needs.


Other times, yes, the love has run its course. But you can’t actually know which it is when your nervous system is fried, your emotions are hijacked, and you haven’t taken the time to meet yourself first.

This is what “doing the work” means.


It’s not cliché.
It’s clarity.


And it’s the difference between:

  • dragging the same patterns into your next relationship (even if you swear you'll “never go there again”)

  • or leaving with peace, self-trust, and no regrets.

Leaving without the work is like changing suburbs and expecting a new life…

You can get a new partner.


New house.


New freedom.


But if you don’t untangle the old beliefs, triggers, and hidden wounds… the same fights will eventually resurface — just with a new face.

And I say this not to guilt you into staying.
But to offer you something better than a fast exit or a messy repeat.

Because this is your life.
And you deserve to feel whole, no matter what happens to your relationship.

The truth most women don’t hear:

You don’t have to stay to do the work.


And you don’t have to leave to get clarity.


What you do need is the willingness to pause, reflect, and reconnect with yourself again — away from the noise.

You may find the love was there all along.
You may find you’ve outgrown this relationship.

Either way… you’ll know you didn’t run.

And that’s something no one can take from you.

So if you're wondering…

  • “Should I stay or go?”

  • “Have I fallen out of love or just disconnected?”

  • “Will I regret leaving?”

  • “What if I never find love again?”

Here’s your invitation to stop spiralling and start untangling.


Your marriage might be ending.
But you are just getting started.


Want help figuring out what’s really going on?
Start by understanding where YOU are at. Join my short course 'Have I Fallen Out of Love?"


Or book a free call to explore what’s next — no pressure, just clarity.

With a degree in Psychology and now as an NLP Master Coach and Trainer, Pam is here to help women create their dream relationships - even if they are unsure whether to stay or go.

Pam Reid

With a degree in Psychology and now as an NLP Master Coach and Trainer, Pam is here to help women create their dream relationships - even if they are unsure whether to stay or go.

Instagram logo icon
Youtube logo icon
Back to Blog